I was so emotionally & mentally empty from not having genuine love example from my dad. I sought out to trying and fill the void. I would fall for whatever guy that would come my way and pay me at least a little bit of attention. When I was left empty by one guy I would convince myself that the next guy would be it. I was always left empty. It would take me many years to realize that I was not filling that void. I was so emotionally and mentally wounded that I first needed to clean out all the yuck from years of damage. Clean out the wounds really good and start to heal. It was not easy.
I also had the mentality that I had to accept that men would say vulgar things, tell a joke or even cat calls. Sometimes I felt like I was just a walking sex object. I had to break the mindset and mentality.
I was always left empty. It would take me many years to realize that I was not filling that void. I was so emotionally and mentally wounded that I first needed to clean out all the yuck from years of damage. Clean out the wounds really good and start to heal. It was not easy.
It took a long time to recondition my thinking. To realize that I am a good person. I am the captain of my own soul. I set the boundaries. If I don’t like someone giving a “cat call” or telling a dirty joke I tell them I don’t like it. I no longer believe I can’t say anything and that I just have to allow whatever to happen.
I now have quite a few healthy friendships with brothers in my church. I have true examples of how a man should treat a woman. I now have boundaries. I realize I have the right to set boundaries and to say no. I am still in the healing process, I have setbacks. But when that happens I just strive hard to make a step forward. Take Care Much Love
