As most of you know in the summer of 2017 I had an AHHHAAAAA moment about my life. I just felt stagnant. I felt like I was not growing in many aspects of my life. I thought if I moved to Charleston that that radical change in my life would disrupt the stagnant parts in my life and I would just have this HUGE growth spurt.
Moving has definitely caused some great growth in my life. Especially with my faith. There is a book the church back in Dayton read called “If You Want To Walk On Water Get Out Of The Boat” I feel like that is exactly what I had to do. But for me it was “If you want to fly you have to jump off the cliff” It took a HUGE leap of faith but I took it and have had some great moments. But something happened in mid-September that threw me for a loop and took the wind out of my sails.
After moving to Charleston I got a job I had been praying for. I got hired as a Mentor at a Group Home for at-risk teen girls. The job was going well. I ended up taking another job just to try and make ends meet. In mid-August I was offered a full-time first shift mentor/housekeeper at the group home.
So I quit my second job. And then in September I was offered a live-in housemom position at the group home. I was so excited. I would live in the group home, no-rent and I would get a increase in pay. As I was literally moving out of a church family house I get a phone call saying that the housemom position was off the table. That took the wind right out of me. So I kept the full-time position. Moved in with another church family and have been just trying to get by. I then realized the other day BAM!!! It happened. I have been on the hamster wheel of life. Just running around in a vertical circle going no where. How had I become stagnant again???
I don’t think anyone intends on becoming stagnant. It is not a goal in life. But it can creep up on you. And then you realize you have been at a job that is going no where for years. And you are living in a place that is okay. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. That is what my thinking had become in Dayton and that is what it has now become in Charleston.
So I could move a thousand t times but if I don’t change my mindset I can become stagnant in a thousand different places. You can become stagnant by accepting that something did not work and just accepting what you have at the moment. Which don’t get me wrong I am glad I had a job. But with quitting my part time job and not getting the increase that I had hoped for I accepted the cards I was dealt and for the past 3 months I have not attempted to look for a supplemental income.
At one point there was an opportunity for me to leave my current location. It was a great opportunity but it involved someone elses life to change. And at this point not sure if that will happen. But I realize that I was hoping for that situation to work out just so I could be “rescued” from my current situation.
But I realize I can’t expect or depend on someone else to “rescue” me. I have to be the one rescuing myself. I have to be the captain of my own ship. I have to guide my own journey and not put it on auto-pilot or think someone else is going to steer my ship.
I can also get stagnant by feeling like there is nothing more. That I am only good enough to be a housekeeper or whatever. By no means am I looking down on anyone who is a
So I need to continue to have a flame burning for doing better. Even if it is just a tea light candle flame. It does not matter the size of the flame. It matters just that you have a flame. So that is the perspective I am going to try to maintain in 2019.
‘I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY OWN SHIP’
“I NEED TO KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE”
Take Care. To GOD Be The GLORY
