I was so hoping that my and Dennis’s relationship would stand the test of times and even distance. I ended my Active Duty Time in 1995 and moved back to Dayton Ohio. I realized I gave up too easy on my relationship with BG that I was going to give this relationship everything I had. Dennis still had about a year left until he would be getting out of the Army. He had talked about moving to Ohio. He was originally from the West Coast.
We stayed in contact regularly. This was before cell phone/skype or texting. So we had to make an effort to call each other yet keep the phone bill down. We had some rocky times. He had broken up with me for a few months. Just questioning if we were meant to be together. But after about 3 months of no contact, he called me up and ask me to give our relationship another shot. So I did.
Dennis had been having a lot of disciplinary issues in the Army. So he ended up getting out of the Army about 6 months earlier than the end of his term. He got a rental truck and headed to Dayton Ohio in the middle of the night. He ended up seeing a deer in the middle of the highway, swerving and crashing the truck. Luckily he was okay and had gotten the insurance. So the rental company brought a new truck to him, packed up his stuff and he arrived in Dayton Ohio. His pickup truck did not survive the damages so he now had no car. He blamed me for his accident. “If I would have gone West on I-70 and not East this would not have happened” “I should have gone West on the highway” I did not take ownership of his accident yet I took the blame because maybe I did pressure him into coming to Ohio instead of going back to the West Coast. I now realize he had his own free-will. He had the right to make his own decision. Sure I wanted him to come to Ohio to live with me. But he had the right to his own decision.
This was the beginning of the end. Dennis always blamed me for his unhappiness. And I took ownership at the time. But I now realized that he had the right to say no but he wanted to have someone to blame for his unhappiness and for 12 years that was me. It took me all of that 12 years to realize I accepted that blamed but no longer would I carry the weight of his unhappiness.
Take Care Much Love
