There is a new country song by this title “I Missed Me More”
Hearing this song has inspired me to “write” a letter to Dennis (will not give it to him but healing to write it)
I thought I would miss so many things about you when we divorced
- Your sarcastic humor
- Love of Green & Gold
- The name Boo
- Parenting together
- Feeling connected
- You winking from across the room
- Squeezing my hand to let me know you were thinking of me
I realized I would not miss
- Being called a Stupid B****h or a f%#$ing idiot
- Walking around on eggshell
- Trying to make you happy and realizing that would never happen
- Putting all your needs and wants before myself
But I realized I missed me more.
- Loving myself
- Laughing for no reason
- Not being ashamed of my quirky self
- Self-love
- Self-affirmation
- Healing and acceptance
Its been almost 13 years since our divorce. You may think that you still know me. But honestly, I am not at all the empty shell of a person that you left to raise our 2 awesome and beautiful girls on my own. And yes I did do a great job. And no it does not matter that it could have been worse. Because it was not worse. I was active in their lives. I was not sitting on the sideline hoping the coach would call me in to play.
You may not miss me, that’s okay because I don’t miss you either .
You can’t make up for lost time. You are trying to parent them as if they are teenagers. But they are now adults. They no longer need someone critiquing them. They need someone to be their cheerleaders. To root them on even if you
You were not there to be the captain of the ship and now you are having a hard time being the lighthouse on the shore because you blew out your light thinking I was looking for you. I was too busy finding myself to go on a useless hunt for the unicorn. Take Care
Wow that felt so empowering to write.
To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care. Much Love.
