**THIS POSTING MAY BE GRAPHIC AND DESCRIPTIVE.** It is what helps me to go to the cross each week.
Every Sunday at church we do communion to take us to the cross. To remember the sacrifice Jesus made to be crucified on the cross for all of our sins.
In the scriptures, it is described that Jesus knew that he would be crucified before it ever happened. He was not necessarily rejoicing but he knew that he was being crucified for our sins. He humbly went to the cross for all of us because he knew that it would bring glory to GOD.
To go deeper in this and to connect it to me. I think about my gang rape. If GOD would have sat me down before I walked into the barracks room and would have described what was going to happen in that room. First off I would have freaked out that it would be described to me. But ultimately I would have told GOD that I would not go in that room.
I don’t think any of us would willingly walk into a graphic situation to bring praise to GOD. Jesus did this without hesitation.
As crazy as this sounds my sexual traumas have brought glory to GOD now. GOD has been there 100% through my healing process. He has not left or forsaken me. Because of my deep walk with GOD I believe is why he has revealed my healing process.
Every step of my healing has been revealed in GOD’s timing. I have been asked quite a few times “How can you believe in GOD because of what happened to you?” “Why would GOD allow those things to happen to you?”
Because of my faith, I know that GOD was there the night of my gang rape. I also know that GOD did not “let” it happen. GOD gave us free will. The ability to make choices in our lives. The night of my gang rape those 12 male soldiers their free will and they made the choice that night.
I truly believe that GOD did protect me. I blacked out the night so I don’t remember what any of the violators look like (It is also a curse because sometimes I can question if a person I meet could have been one of the violators) I did have physical injuries yet it could have been worse. And that is what helps me to thrive is to know that GOD has been with me on this healing journey. And I know he will never forsake me. To GOD Be The GLORY.
