For many years I was literally “STUCK” in the past. I would run every trauma in my life through my head a thousand times a day. Running through many scenarios of each with “would’ve could’ve and should’ve” Trying to think I could have prevented each one of them.
Blaming myself for each one. Thinking that if I did a play by play I could prevent anything bad happening to me every in the future because I convinced myself of every “warning” signal I had missed and using those to prevent traumas in the future.
Let me tell you. Thant is not a healthy way to live. It steals your joy, your present-day moments, and your future. It took me a very long time to realize that riding the hamster wheel of the past was getting me nowhere in the future.
I was finally able to process my past on my own and with my therapist. I have moments of thinking about the past. Unlike how I use to handle it I no longer buy a one-way ticket and pack 4 suitcases to visit the past. Now I take a carry-on bag and treat it as a layover. Just there for a brief visit and then I am ready to return to the present day.
Looking back at the past is like driving down the street and looking back at a something behind you. You get distracted, lose focus and next thing you know BAM!!! You have crashed into something. And you now must pick up the pieces and try to put everything back together.
I know sometimes it is easier said than done. It takes changing your mindset and a lot of practice. Just remember “Don’t look back, you are not going that way”
